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Love after...

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Is it possible that there is someone for me? Especially now under this new circumstance? Certainlyy someone who is negative would have nothing to do with me, I mean honestly, before my diagnosis I would keep miles away from a positive person. Funny how things work. 

Ive been abstaining from sex for the last 8 months since my diagnosis. Suddenly I find myself wanting, even desperate for anothers touch. Is there anybody out there? It has become very lonely in my world. I used to be the life of the party. Very social and never a problem in my sex life. Im different now. I dont like me anymore and im not at all okay with my world. What do I do? Ive considered the options and the onnly one that makes perfect sense is to hit myself with 3 points of heroin and sleep it all away. Very enticing. I was speaking with my mental health worker about a month ago just before I went into the hospital under a form 3, and I mentioned suicide as a viable option and he said to me, "but you have so much to live for and going for you." I laughed and then cried. I said,"oh yeah?" Tell me 3 things Ive got to live for and going for me." He hung his head and I hung mine as I was hit with a hard dose of truth. I have nothing to live for and Ive got nothing going for me. In fact, if I were to ask 10 proffessionals not bouded by any code of ethics or creed to tell me honestly if I should kill myself or not. 8 would probably say," I would if I were you." What the fuck! How did it come to this? How could I have been so careless?

Incase you are wondering, I became infected by accidentally sticking myself with my bestfriends needle. I didnt know he was positive and we used drugs together for 3 years. Im angry that he didnt ever tell me considering the dangers of drug injection and the odds of an accidental prick but at the end of the day its my own fault. I should have been more careful and not so niave.

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September 16
Yes it is
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Hi handsome, just try to relax and keep looking, see around you and think about your life, you have everything to be happy, covid does not make it easy but it is not impossible either, we complain about how hard it is for people like us with hiv, but love or sex will come to you at the right time, I have a partner but he does not want to be with me, he is not hiv+ so he does not give a f... Jeje, at least I'm alive and have more than I need to be happy (food and a roof upon my head) just keep looking and who knows love can be around the corner. Thank you for sharing, sending you a big hug and a kiss from Merida, Mexico. Smile look even more handsome when you do.
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Hey, suicide is a NO!! What you are complaining is just in line with the reality. Check this, we are a minority scattered all over the globe. To find some one belonging to this minority group who meets specified requirements that one prefers even makes the chances more slimmer. But thank God we have a platform such as this site for interaction. Chances are, one day, one will come across someone who is within geographic reach to enable the development of real friendship. Also always request for a video call say on whatsapp so that you can confirm that the person in the pics is the one you are communicating with. This way i have identified and isolated a number of scam profiles posing as females and using other people's pics. These will refuse to video call!!
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Your not alone
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I just found out I'm positive last month after been sick to death. I will like to be open n not hide my status and truly love to date a person who is also positive, a person that will drive my sex life and not be afraid in future to make him sick of low my sex drive or lie.. If you are still looking for someone I'm here for you and we can be friends if you are not interested in me.

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I also have been living with hiv for 11years and have found the whole thing traumatic, even after this long I still feel like I can not except what I have, I am just trying my best to learn every day to live with it.


Nobody knows about my status apart from professionals, it’s been really hard to cope with not being able to trust anyone enough to disclose. I struggle on a daily and also use drugs to block out or fill voids.


honestly I feel like happiness in finding my match having a family of my own is so far out of reach and it’s really hard to not fall in to depression as I find that having hiv has left me in a dark and lonely place also.


I envy all those who can just dust themselves off and manage it all, I really do.

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replying to Author
1 year ago

Yes it is possible that they is someone is for you. But on dating website a lot of people is not real on dating website being positive or negative I was diagnosed in 2013  and is has seen a overwhelming experience I was afraid,confused, and angry.and want to kill myself but a over time when on I empower myself and it got better over time we are still the person we are before we got diagnosis so just have Faith and good luck😃

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I’ve been HIV for 11 years now and for 11 years i didn’t have sex. I was so angry at myself for having so much trust in a person and when we think about it that’s all it boils down to is that we trust someone who we shouldn’t trust and that’s how we end up with hiv or how I ended up with it at a very young age. 


After 11 years I finally forgave myself and the person who gave it to me because I was still angry I was upset I wanted to kill myself as well and tried to many times, I didn’t see any point of living anymore I really didn’t. My family has given me so much love over those 11 years to give me meaning to want to stay alive and live. 


11 years has went by and no sex I would always talk to someone and then block them once it came to telling them I was HIV infected. What I want in a man doesn’t come to me because I am HIV positive, so many people turn their backs on me for being positive. I did the same thing before I was HIV positive, I stop talking to someone when they told me they were so I agree with you it’s funny how it works now the page is turned on me and I now know how it feels to be HIV positive and be rejected. 


I’ve been through so much I had big plans for myself before I got HIV I wanted to do so much and be so much but it changed and I got confused and got angry and no longer wanted the things I use to want. Now I am on a different path and I believe that everything happens for a reason. I’m a better me now and everyday I grow so much and and I love it! 


You have to accept that you have HIV, you have to forgive your best friend and forgive yourself so that you can find your new path and keep moving on, it’s going to be hard but once it’s done your going to feel a lot better about who you are and about having HIV. We all move at our own pace and we all learn in different ways. I believe you can do it. 


HIV isn’t the end of the world it’s actually a new start to becoming  a better you. 

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there is always someone for another. I ask myself the same questions. this sis not a life sentence. it is a life of wellness. i was diagnosed in 99. guess what? I am doing exceptionally well. feel free to reach out if you are having a down day. i know what it is like to be new.

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U have to have faith trust in god believe